Austria

Days 94-103 – Vienna

When you talk of Austria’s capital before you see it, images of architectural grandeur, operatic glamour and the riches of European civilization spring to mind. It seems we drove in from the wrong side of the tracks (or Slovakia to the Austrians!) since we entered past a cemetery and several strip clubs. After negotiating our way around the narrow labyrinth of einbahn strassen (one way streets) on the edge of the city, we found our hostel. Now it was up to us to squeeze the rather chunky van in almost these all to svelte Austrian streets. Unfortunately the spot we found was shared by an equally chunky ‘lady of the night’. We do worry for what the van might have seen whilst parked there.

It is fair to say though, that Vienna will always occupy a strange place in our travelling memories. For the entire time we were there the skies were grey and it rained. This was combined with the fact that the streets were rammed with Christmas shoppers. As we all know, Christmas shoppers are the most impatient and the most violent. So an elbow to the ribs from an Austrian grandma with a bag full of baubles was not an unusual occurrence.

Vienna is also an extensive city. If you don’t know your way, and we didn’t, it is hard to find cheap food, drink and entertainment. Thus Vienna makes you choose between museums and exhibitions; and you have to cherry pick a place to eat and where to stop if you need a warming drink. This decision making can make it a frustrating place for the traveller on a budget. Yet learning about the economies of experience is part of our journey.

Despite this, Vienna is spectacular. You often find yourself stopping and watching inanimate buildings. You are often lost down streets where only the magnitude of ‘history’ (in the civilized European sense) seems to live. It is a big city and quite definitely a more western capital city. This is reflected by every high spire, important museum and busy person.

Vienna’s town hall typifies this, rising above the city in all its gothic (style) magnificence. Whilst we were there the windows had been converted to looks as those on an advent calendar. The bright lights and bustle of the main Christmas market was laid out before the town hall. In many ways this was the über Christmas market. There was stall after stall filled to the brim with Christmassy goods. Walking through this maze of wooden huts and fake snow, you couldn’t fail to be filled with a certain childish glee. Here we began purchasing the decs for decorating our beloved van (Toj must add a nightmare YouTube video to edit).

Moving from this traditional and family friendly vision of Christmas, we jump to an alternative, seedy and much less sober vision. The tale begins in the hostel bar, a cosy place that served a pretty good pint. It was here that we got talking to Jameson. He was an American PhD student currently researching in Zurich and taking time to see a bit of Europe as well. Now to be truthful, he is the true protagonist of this tale. Jameson asked us if we had eaten, but we were having a budget dinner of hostel sandwiches. However, we had arranged to meet Jameson for a drink afterwards in the, rather notorious authentic Austrian, restaurant near the hostel.

The Austro-eatery Jameson had selected was called Mozart Stuber. It was notorious because it opened from 6pm to 6am, smelt like a dirty deep-fat fryer, good cheap schnitzel, and had exceptionally friendly staff. We opened the doors and peered through the smoke to locate Jameson. There smiling proudly and waving us over, we found him sat at a banqueting table with twelve rather burley Austrian men. Some of whom were so drunk their heads were in their dinners, others were laughing heartily. As we approached nervously, Jameson (who we discovered speaks fluent German) began introducing us. He also explained to us that there men had come together as part of a yearly tradition. The following day they were all going to dress as Santas and would walk the city carolling and drinking.

That night however they had adopted Jameson (rather insistently he informed us) and proceed to get him a little tipsy. These men were friendly and funny. So it was unfortunate that not long after joining them, Phil had to slip out and speak on the phone. Particularly because when he returned, it appeared that Toj and Jameson had taken several doses of Schnapps (including Phil’s share). Needless to say, neither of them were just a little tipsy anymore.

Due to certain members of the Austrian contingent beginning to lag after a hard days drinking, the mob disbanded. This left us and Jameson to sample some more of Austrian’s alternative nightlife. This went smoothly up to a point, but Toj, who was our chief navigator for the night, was well past anything but tipsy and therefore led us a little of course. After a while of unproductive searching, we realised we didn’t know where we were. Sensibly we jumped into the only place with its lights on to get our bearings. Eventually we had to ask the barmaid ‘where are we?’ She replied by asking us whether we meant the names of the bar or the street name. Laughing we said ‘either’ to which she wrote both on our map. So drunk, amused and only slightly ashamed we got home to bed safely.

Vienna’s Museum Quarter is well worth a mention. It is a section of the city that incorporates the majority of its most important museums and gallery spaces. Due to the density of these institutions in such a small area, it creates a real cultural hub for the city. This makes it much easier to know about and to the best of what the city has to offer. It also allows you to witness the meeting of contemporary culture with its historic predecessors. The very architecture exemplifies this. As the museum of contemporary arts stands boldly out, as a charcoal, granite, cube against a background of magnolia 19th Century structures. Inside the Quarter, work of contemporary artists is displayed in strange glass corridors. While monumental stone buildings proudly exhibit a rich history in traditional arts. We opted for the modern.

During the later part of our time in Vienna, we were blessed with the presence of Lauren, Toj’s best friend and housemate from Uni, on her way back from au pairing in Madrid. She was lucky enough to not only share our wet Viennese experience but also some cultural sights too. And no talk of Viennese culture would be complete without giving the Opera a mention. ‘Opera’ you say. ‘How could any van dwelling paupers afford the Viennese Opera?’ Well, simply by waiting in line for well over an hour on the day and paying 3-4 euros for the pleasure of standing in the gallows with all the other poor people. Two operas were consumed in this rather unusual way. Mozart’s The Magic Flute and Puccini’s La Bohème. Despite the aching back and sweaty pits, the experience was amazing and well worth the money.

As this Viennese odyssey is drawn to a close, there is one remarkable occurrence that must be spoken of. We call it ‘The Return of Keith’. This is Keith from New Jersey who we met in Prague. Strolling though the hostel lounge sporting his Yankees hat, a pair of sunglasses and a cup of coffee he spots Phil. Bellowing the immortal words ‘Hey Phil, what’s up?!’ After catching up and not before long, we were enjoying another night out with the very unique and indescribable, Keith.

Travelled = 2383 Miles